Baptisms, Weddings, Funerals at Church of the Redeemer

Occasional Pastoral Offices

General information is provided here in our parish "Customaries" for Baptism, Marriage, and Funerals/Memorial Services. Please contact the parish office to discuss these pastoral offices with one of our clergy.
Phone: 610-525-2486 or you can email us from the Contact Us page.

A Customary for Baptism Printer friendly Baptism Customary brochure

We have prepared this brief introduction for all those considering baptism at The Church of the Redeemer either for themselves or for a family member. While this summary is by no means exhaustive, we hope it will answer questions and help you, your family, and the candidate’s sponsors to prepare for this first step in the life journey of a Christian.

WHEN CAN ONE BE BAPTIZED?
Holy Baptism is appropriately administered within the Eucharist as the chief service on a Sunday or other feast. It is especially appropriate at the Easter Vigil, on the Day of Pentecost, on All Saints’ Day or the Sunday after All Saint’s Day, and on the Feast of the Baptism of our Lord (the first Sunday after The Epiphany). It is recommended that, as far as possible, baptisms be reserved for these holy days or occasions when a bishop is present. (The Book of Common Prayer, pp. 298 and 312).

CANDIDATES FOR HOLY BAPTISM
Perhaps more important than the rubrics of the church in determining when one can be baptized is whether by the grace of God the candidate is receptive and ready for this most important rite to take place. True to its mission, the Church requires all candidates for Holy Baptism to confess their faith in Jesus Christ, evidence their commitment to Christ in daily living, and participate in the fellowship of their worshiping community. In the baptism of infants or small children, parents and sponsors make these pledges on their behalf; moreover, the Church asks that parents and sponsors will continue to raise children in the Christian faith and life. The prerequisites for Holy Baptism are therefore as follows:
· For an adolescent or adult, his or her expressed desire to be baptized.
· For a pre-adolescent child, his or her expressed desire, along with the consent of the parent(s) or guardian(s).
· For an infant, the expressed desire of the parent(s) or guardian(s) and assurance of their faith in Jesus Christ.

PREPARATION FOR BAPTISM
Prior to a scheduled Baptism, members of the clergy and staff at The Redeemer meet with parents and godparents to discuss the theology and implications of this sacrament.

CHRISTIAN BAPTISM
Holy Baptism is full initiation by water and the Holy Spirit into Christ’s Body the Church. The bond that God establishes in Baptism is indissoluble. (Book of Common Prayer p.298).
Christian baptism is rooted in the ministry of Jesus of Nazareth, in his death and resurrection. In this sacrament, God adopts us as God’s children and incorporates us into Christ’s Body and the Church. In Baptism we enter into the new covenant between God and God’s people, and thus we are baptized in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
The Gospel of Matthew records that the risen Lord, when sending his disciples into the world, commanded them to baptize (Matt. 28:18-20). We read of the universal practice of baptism in letters of the New Testament, The Acts of the Apostles, and the writings of the church fathers. These writers recognized that Baptism is essential for the life of the Church, though it is not absolutely essential to salvation. We are baptized into the holy catholic Church and not into any one denomination of that Church. This bond that God establishes in Baptism is indissoluble and therefore we are baptized only one time.

THE MEANING AND SIGNIFICANCE OF BAPTISM
Participation in Christ’s Death and Resurrection.
In baptism Christians are immersed in the liberating death of Christ; their sins are buried, the “old Adam” is crucified with Christ, and the power of sin is broken. Our proclivity to sin is buried with him as we are raised to new life in the power of the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Conversion, Pardoning, and Cleansing
The New Testament underlines the ethical implications of baptism by representing it as an absolution which washes the body with pure water, a cleansing of the heart of all sin, and an act of justification (Hebrews 10:22; 1 Peter 3:21; Acts 22:16; I Corinthians 6:11) Those baptized are pardoned, cleansed and sanctified by Christ and receive a new ethical orientation under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

The Gift of the Spirit
The Holy Spirit is at work in the lives of people before, in and after their baptism. This is the same Spirit who revealed Jesus as the Son and who empowered and united the disciples at Pentecost. As they are anointed, marked with a seal, God bestows upon newly baptized persons the promise of the Holy Spirit and inherits them as sons and daughters of God.

Incorporation into the Body of Christ
Through baptism, Christians are brought into union with Christ, with each other and with the Church of every time and place. We are one people, called to confess and serve one Lord. In recognizing baptismal unity in the one holy catholic and apostolic Church, we witness together to the healing and reconciling love of God.

The Sign of the Kingdom
Baptism introduces the reality of a new life given in the midst of the present world. It offers participation in the community of the Holy Spirit. It is a sign of the Kingdom of God and of the life of the world to come.

Baptism and Faith
Baptism is both God’s gift and our human response to that gift. Although human hands perform the outward and visible signs in Baptism, God alone gives the inward and spiritual grace that those signs represent. That grace is a gift from God, and we must take care not to diminish the gift by making grace contingent on some work of our own, including a work of faith. At the same time, our commitment to the work of God’s creation is necessary for responsible membership in the body of Christ. Baptism is related not only to momentary experience, but also to life-long growth in Christ.

“GODPARENTS”
If the Candidate for Baptism is a child or young adult, parents invite sponsors, also called “godparents”, to take part in the service of Holy Baptism. These persons, between one and four in number and at least one of whom must be baptized, are responsible for seeing that the candidate is nurtured in the Christian faith and life, so they should be carefully chosen with this charge in mind. In extending the invitation to sponsors, parents should bear in mind not only the personal qualities of the individual but also the person’s readiness to serve as spiritual mentor and guide to the person throughout his or her life. The Book of Common Prayer goes on to say that sponsors of adults and older children present their candidates and thereby signify their endorsement of the candidates and their intention to support them by prayer and example in their Christian life. Sponsors of infants, commonly called godparents, present their candidates, make promises in their own names, and also take vows on behalf of their candidates. It is fitting that parents be included among the godparents of their own children. Parents and godparents are to be instructed: 1) in the meaning of Baptism, 2) in their duties to help the new Christians grow in the knowledge and love of God, and 3) in their responsibilities as members of God’s Church.

A LIFELONG JOURNEY
While baptism is something that happens only once in a one’s life, it begins a process that takes a lifetime to accomplish. The shape of the life we promise to follow is outlined in the words of the Baptismal Covenant. The promises we make here are deeply serious and require much consideration and prayer. Alone, we may none of us live into them. Together as a community, however, and with God’s grace, such a life is possible. Thus, all of the faithful join together to affirm in one voice, “We will with God’s help!”

A Customary for Marriage Printer friendly Marriage Customary brochure

MARRIAGE IN THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH
The Episcopal Church holds that marriage is a bond and covenant established by God in creation. It signifies the mystery of the union between Christ and his Church. Thus marriage is a life-long union of husband and wife and an unconditional commitment of a man and a woman to one another. The Episcopal Church holds that the union of husband and wife…is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and, when it is God’s will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord (The Book of Common Prayer, pg. 423). Those desiring to be married in the Church are asked to sign a Declaration of Intention indicating that they understand and agree with this view of marriage. Throughout our counseling and officiating, we encourage the couple to regard their marriage in the Church as an expression of their religious faith, a faith in Jesus Christ that will, throughout their lives, sustain the health and depth of their relationship and that of their family.

All marriages taking place in the Church must conform to the laws of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, the guidelines of the Bishop, and the Canons of the Episcopal Church. The canonical requirements are:

· At least one of the parties must be baptized.

· The officiating priest will ascertain that both parties freely and knowingly consent to marriage.

· The priest will ascertain that both parties understand that the union is both physical and spiritual and is intended to be life-long.

· The priest will instruct both parties as to the nature, meaning and purpose of Holy Matrimony.

· A minimum of two witnesses must be present at the marriage.

· The couple will sign a Declaration of Consent at least thirty days prior to the wedding.

· A priest of the Episcopal Church must receive the permission of the Bishop of this Diocese before solemnizing the marriage of a person who has had a previous marriage dissolved by a civil court and whose former spouse is still living. The wedding may not proceed unless the divorce decree has been in effect for a minimum of one year and unless the church has at least three months’ notice of intention, time enough for the Bishop to grant approval for the marriage to move forward.

· At his or her discretion, a priest may decide not to proceed with officiating at a wedding.

WEDDING SERVICE
Marriage is a sacramental rite of the Church, and all aspects of the wedding should reflect its character as such. Weddings taking place at the Church of the Redeemer will use the form of the marriage rite found in the 1979 Book of Common Prayer, along with the variations and options it permits. The clergy member officiating at your service will discuss these options with you as you review The Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage (pp. 423-432). Because a wedding is a worship service, attendance is open to the public. We recommend that family members, members of the wedding party, and other friends take part in the service by reading lessons and intercessions or in performing music. Engaging family and friends in the service helps personalize it for you. The clergy encourage making the Holy Eucharist part of the celebration and blessing of your marriage.
All participants in your wedding should arrive at the church at least 45 minutes before the service begins, and should also arrive promptly at the hour appointed for the rehearsal. Please notify your wedding party that their promptness in arriving will help make the event go smoothly, and thus will be a gift to you! On the day of the wedding, the church will be open for seating one hour before the wedding begins.

SCHEDULING
In order to assure availability of the church and its clergy, all weddings should be scheduled with the parish at least six months in advance of the desired date. To initiate a request for a date, please contact Pat Winkelvoss at 610-525-2486 ext. 14. No weddings will take place during Lent, and weddings during Advent are discouraged. The church appreciates knowing of marriage plans even before announcing your engagement, and of course no announcement of the location or date of the wedding should be made without prior agreement of the parish clergy.

CLERGY
A member of the clergy of this parish will normally officiate at weddings held in the church. If you would like another clergy person to assist with the service, please ask the officiating priest who can extend an invitation to the visitor, given sufficient time to do so. At least one clergy member of this parish will be present at weddings here, and will determine what role the guest is to have in the service. The parish clergy person officiating at the marriage also conducts the rehearsal, which is usually scheduled on the day prior to the wedding. Whenever possible, we ask that rehearsals be scheduled at 5:00 p.m.

PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING
The canons of the Episcopal Church require pre-marital counseling of all couples seeking to have their marriage blessed by the Church. This counseling normally takes place under the guidance of the parish clergy person performing the marriage, and appointments for these sessions are made with him or her. The couple should anticipate up to six hours of counseling.

WEDDING COORDINATOR
The Church of the Redeemer has a wedding coordinator who knows the church well and can assist with plans for the wedding, either on the phone or in person. Her services are included within our overall fee structure. Please contact our wedding coordinator, Ms. Margaret Helminska (tel. 610-642-0528) at least six weeks prior to your wedding date to go over your preparations with her. She will attend the rehearsal and the wedding and assists the bridal party as needed. If you choose to hire your own wedding advisor, the parish wedding coordinator continues to oversee proceedings at the church, both during the rehearsal and the service itself.

MUSIC
In order to plan music for your wedding, you should meet with the parish organist at least one month before the service, or earlier if you intend to have additional musicians perform. Call the parish office for contact information for the organist. With his assistance and advice, you will be able to select music for your ceremony using criteria similar to those applied to other worship services of the church. The singing of congregational hymns at weddings is a joyous part of our tradition, and the organist can offer appropriate suggestions for hymns. It’s possible that he may regard some music, such as secular songs and love ballads, as inappropriate, and you may not be able to use music if it is unavailable in an organ transcription. Either the parish Organist or Director of Music will play for your service or arrange for a suitable substitute. If you wish to hire members of our choirs, or additional instruments such as trumpet, please discuss your plans with the Organist before making any contacts, since additional rehearsal times will inevitably influence the selection of other musicians. Our staff musicians know and can help you identify talented performers in this region.

DECORATIONS AND FLOWERS
The clergy will advise you on decorations proposed for the ceremony. Decorations may not involve drilling, taping, or holes in walls or furniture. For safety reasons, we do not permit runners in the church. We request that birdseed be thrown at the new bride and groom rather than rice or confetti so that the birds may enjoy the wedding also.

The parish Flower Guild is responsible for all flowers within the church. This includes flowers on or near the altar, rood screen, pews, narthex, and chapel. Flowers used at weddings become the property of the church and may be used as a celebration of your marriage during our regular Sunday services. To make arrangements for flowers for your service in the church, please contact Marby Sparkman at 610-688-4535 or call the parish office. Note that payment for flowers is not included in the wedding fees. You should purchase flowers carried or worn by members of the bridal party from a florist of your own choosing.

PHOTOGRAPHY AND VIDEOTAPING
During the wedding service, no flash photography is permitted in the church. Wedding guests should observe this policy as well as professional photographers. Photographers should position themselves behind the last pew and remain stationary throughout the service. It is imperative that the bride and/or groom notify professional photographers of this policy prior to the day of the wedding. Pictures may be freely taken following the service.

Professional recording of the wedding service (DVD or videotape) is permitted, but the person making the recording, and the recording equipment itself, should be positioned in an unobtrusive location in the church. We ask that you consult the wedding coordinator as well as the officiating clergy before settling on a location. Once in place, the equipment should remain stationary. It is imperative that the bride and/or groom notify the DVD/video recorder of this policy prior to the day of the wedding. If you request it at least one week in advance, the parish staff will produce an audio recording of the service free of charge.

USHERS
At least a few days before the wedding rehearsal, you should determine both who will serve as ushers and which ushers will be responsible for seating specific family members in special places.

SERVICE SHEET
Many families choose to have service sheets or programs printed professionally. The officiating priest will work closely with the bride and groom to determine the elements of the service to be included.

RECEPTION
The Parish Hall can be rented for a reception at a fee of $250. The capacity of this space is 80 persons seated or 120 persons standing. An additional fee of $150 is charged to cover our church sexton’s time for preparation and cleanup. Each wedding party is responsible for securing its own caterer and for whatever decorations are used at the reception. Once again, however, no decorations or signs that require drilling holes or using tape may be used. You may serve wine or champagne only if non-alcoholic beverages are also provided in an equally attractive and accessible fashion. It is incumbent upon the family or their designee to be cognizant of safety issues with guests who will be drinking alcoholic beverages and driving vehicles later. Our sexton will clean the Parish Hall immediately after the reception. Any damage to church property is the financial responsibility of, and will be billed to, those using the facilities.

FEES
The wedding fee is $1,500, and this amount includes:

*Pre-marital counseling meetings with the clergy

*Advice and assistance of the wedding coordinator

*Officiating Priest

*Organist

*Acolytes or chalice-bearers, if the Holy Eucharist in included with the service

*Service sheet (if requested)

*Sexton’s time for church service

Additional charges include flowers provided by the parish Flower Guild; additional instrumentalists and/or soloists; a choir, if requested; the use of the parish hall for a reception; the sexton’s time for services other than the church service.

We ask that you submit full payment for the wedding service at least two weeks prior to the wedding date. If additional charges are incurred, they will appear on a separate invoice sent following the service.

The clergy of The Redeemer look forward to working closely with you so that the sacrament of Holy Matrimony will be a beautiful and memorable experience.

A Customary for Funerals and Memorial Services Printer friendly Funeral Customary brochure

From the Book of Common Prayer ~
The liturgy for the dead is an Easter liturgy. It finds all its meaning in the resurrection. Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we, too, shall be raised.
The liturgy, therefore, is characterized by joy, in the certainty that “neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things to come, nor powers, nor heights, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
This joy, however, does not make human grief unchristian. The very love we have for each other in Christ brings deep sorrow when we are parted by death. Jesus himself wept at the grave of his friend. So, while we rejoice that the one we love has entered into the nearer presence of our Lord, we sorrow in sympathy with those who mourn.

Guidelines for a Funeral or Memorial Service
Please contact the parish office (610) 525-2486 as soon as possible following a death to make arrangements for funerals, memorial services, and interments.
· The clergy must be consulted before scheduling a funeral or memorial service at the Church of the Redeemer.
· A schedule of fees is included with this information. Normally these fees are handled through the funeral director. It is appropriate to make a gift to the Discretionary Fund of the clergyperson who conducts the service. This donation is used to support the ministry of the Church of the Redeemer. There is no fee for the use of the church.
· Churchyard fees are also included here. Grave plots remain available for full burials and cremations in the Churchyard and Memorial Garden.
· As is customary in the Episcopal Church, the funeral pall is used to cover the casket during the service. The casket remains closed throughout the service.
· The Church of the Redeemer will provide simple leaflets for funeral and memorial services. Please discuss this with the clergy when making arrangements. Samples are available.

Flowers
The Flower Guild of the Church of the Redeemer will prepare all flower arrangements for funerals and memorial services. These flowers become the property of the church and are used as a memorial of the life of the deceased during the Sunday services. Flowers delivered by friends and family shall be placed in the narthex of the church during the service. Please call Marby Sparkman at the number listed below. Mrs. Sparkman will be able to answer any questions concerning the flowers and guidelines for funeral flowers. Contact: Marby Sparkman, 610-688-4535

Music
The Director of Music of the Church of the Redeemer must approve service music and hymns for funerals and memorial services. The clergyperson who conducts the service will discuss service music and help in guiding selections.
· Organist $200
· Additional Instruments $150 each, depending on availability
· Choir The fee, per choir member, is dictated by availability on the day of the service.
Please discuss with the clergyperson when making arrangements.
· Soloist $175

General Fees
· Clergy Discretionary Fund $150 - $200, or any other amount, as the family decides.
· Sexton $150

Grave Opening Fees
· Full Burial $800 single depth, $900 doubly depth
· Remove Extra Earth, if necessary $125
· Cremation $200
· Burial Recording Fee $200
The Church of the Redeemer requires 72 hours notice for a full interment, and 48 hours notice for a cremation. Full casket interments require a cement vault. Cremation interments require a permanent stone, metal, or composite urn. Consult your funeral director for information and pricing.

Optional Gravesite Fees
· Tent $50
· Memorial Stone Foundation $150
All Memorial stones require foundations. If a memorial stone will be placed at the gravesite, we recommend the foundation work be performed before the grave is closed. Memorial stone foundations, placed after the grave closing, require an additional charge of $100.

Funeral Directors
You are free to use the funeral director of your choice. However, for your convenience the following two funeral directors have been used frequently by those planning funeral services and interments at the Church of the Redeemer. Both are aware of our fees and are familiar with our policies.
· Chadwick & McKinney, Ardmore, PA: 610-642-6303
(Rodger McKinney is a Redeemer parishioner)
· Stuard Funeral Home, Ardmore, PA: 610-649-0243

Memorial Stone Monuments
It is our policy that any memorial stone placed in the churchyard must be in keeping with the general design and appearance of those already there. All monument makers are required to send a sketch of the proposed marker to the Parish Administrator for written approval before the final installation of the stone in the churchyard. Memorial stones require foundations constructed to our specifications. Care and maintenance of the memorial stones is the responsibility of the plot owner. Repairs to broken or toppled memorial stones should be undertaken as soon as discovered or brought to the attention of the plot owner. Stones not repaired in a reasonable time will be repaired by the Church of the Redeemer and billed to the plot owner.
Although we do not recommend any particular monument maker over another, the following are companies who have done most of the stone work in our churchyard.
· Harvard C. Wood, Inc., Lansdowne, PA: 610-622-0550
· Malvern Granite Company, Malvern, PA: 610-644-1883
· Cartledge Memorials, Inc., Upper Darby, PA: 610-789-5525

Funeral Receptions
We have space for receptions following funerals and memorial services, subject to availability and occupancy restrictions. The Assembly Room will seat up to 65 people, or 120 standing. The Shortridge Room will seat up to 24, or 35 standing. The two rooms may be opened to each other and combined for increased capacity. Kitchen use is included in the room fee.
· Assembly Room: $250
· Shortridge Room $150
· Sexton Fee $100 (fee for Saturday or Sunday receptions only)
All arrangements for a reception are the responsibility of the family. The choice of a caterer is entirely up to the individual family. Room use is subject to availability.

Grave and Memorial Garden Purchase Information
Gravesites
Grave plots measure 16’ X 16’ (256 square feet) and are divided into eight 4’ X 8’ lots. Grave plots may be purchased whole for $7,200, or individual lots may be purchased for $900. Each lot may contain no more than two full body interments and four cremated interments. However, each lot may contain no more than two memorial stones, the design of which is subject to the approval of the parish administrator, based on the conformity of the design with existing stones and site restrictions.
· Individual grave plantings are restricted to those approved by the Churchyard Committee. A list of approved plants is available in the parish office.
· The Church of the Redeemer provides basic landscaping services throughout the graveyard. This includes lawn mowing, common flowerbed weeding, tree management, and seasonal clean-up.
· Please note that upkeep of memorial stones is the responsibility of the family. Loose or toppled stones should be repaired promptly.

Memorial Garden
Memorial Garden spaces are available for the interment of cremated remains. Spaces may be purchased for two or four interments. Two interment spaces cost $600. Four interment spaces cost $1,200.
Each space is covered by a slate block. Names, and dates of birth and death, of those in interred may be inscribed on the slate block.
If you have a question about the churchyard, funeral or memorial services, or gravesites, please contact Jay Einspanier, Parish Administrator (610) 525-2486, x21 or, jay@theredeemer.org

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